It was finally here, the morning of an investigation I had been planning for two years. Month after Month of research and mapping, along with a detailed plan of investigation.
The sun rose as I heard my team waking in my house, we had all stayed at mine the previous night to make sure our plan was water tight and to go through the procedures in case the worst would happen.
Stumbling around I ran through the checklist, barking orders at the team to get the equipment loaded and more importantly make me a coffee, because everyone knows I'm a horrible bastard until midday if I don't get my caffeine. Finally we are all loaded, mapped and ready to embark on the 4hr journey from one side of the UK to the other.
I give Jodie, my partner, the biggest kiss and squeeze and firmly remind her not to drop the baby until I'm home. Jodie is heavily pregnant, we've got two weeks left until our baby is due and she's already showing signs of dropping early. As I remind her how to use the satellite radio for the millionth time, to ensure she can reach me in a castle with zero mobile signal, she gives me that calming look and shoo's me into the lead car of our convoy.
That's it, we are off, we set off through the scenic country side of Essex UK and head towards Gloucestershire Nr Wales where we will be spending the next 3 days intensely investigating the legendary St Braivels Castle with a select group of guests who had paid to spend the weekend with us.
As we trundle down the motorways, the banter rolls backwards and forwards between our radios as every anxiety runs through my head. I catch myself and laugh as its not the demons that have been reported, or the aggressive attacks from the spirits that have been documented throughout the years which is the cause of the cold sweats or withdrawn demeanour of myself, its the GUESTS!
Im not unaware that I'm the most short, abrupt and antisocial man going, and I've got 40 excited guests travelling from all over the country arriving and looking at me for 3 whole days of entertainment. You see I'm not like the pricks you see on social media, running around some abandoned building on a live feed, pretending to ghost hunt for vanity and likes. Im a real, professional Paranormal Investigator, who has been hired by governments and police to investigate stuff that the public just wouldn't understand. My job is my life, and I take it seriously.
What if I snap at a guest who has paid £200 to be there? What if I cuff one of them round the ear because of their stupidity? What if the words "you stupid cunt" fall out of my mouth before I can stop it? I'm not one to hold back and filter my mouth, and whilst my audience might enjoy it... it can be a curse.
Im snapped back from my thoughts as I hear "we've just hit a road closure Boss, we've been delayed" come through the radio. For fuck sake!
Finally we arrive at the castle, I find the castle staff and snap into organiser mode, my trusty clip board giving me orders as I delegate my beautiful team tasks to set up a whole weekend whilst my guests arrive around them.
The funny thing about guests is that they can make or break a hunt... what if Ive got a group of rich, posh idiots who are going to drain me the entire weekend, particularly men. Fuck I hate men on my hunts... usually macho dickhead husbands who have been dragged by their wives to meet me who are either insecure or over do it with they ego pretending its "skepticism". Well as I enter the breakfast hall of this bloody great big castle that is all mine for the weekend, I breathe a sigh of relief as. A familiar face of one of my favourite clients beams up at me from a chair. Thank god.
This is the first time I've actually met my client in person as all my clients are done via video chat. Stacey smiles as she hands over an envelope to me... a wedding invite. Im really moved and it reassures me that I actually am a person who people want to be around.
As more and more guests arrive I'm sending them off to their designated rooms for the weekend and I meet some real pukka people. Im loving some of the blokes who have turned up as their sense of humours are exactly what I need to put me at ease.
Finally most of the guests have arrived and I tell Sarg, my historian, to start his tour. Im lucky to have Sarg. There is not a single thing that's happened in the past that that man don't know about, and if he is stuck, it will be five minutes before he's found it out. Real handy man to know when you're in a job that focusses on the past. I know he has been constructing this tour for months and he is buzzing to share his findings with the guests.
Whilst he takes half the guests around the castle, I take the other half into our make shift command centre (the breakfast hall with my equipment EVERYWHERE) to get them up to speed with the equipment we will be using, how it works and how to use it. There's lot of equipment in my job which makes all kinds of sounds and signs when a spirit is near. One of the favourites is the spirit box, a device that scans high frequency radio waves backwards and spirits find easy to chuck out words at us. Its a hit with the guests and I ask who would be brave enough to to do a "sense dep" an experiment where we blindfold a subject and they listen to the radio waves through ear phones so their senses are completely deprived of outside influence and they can't see or hear anything but the spirit box whilst we ask questions the subject can not hear, and the spirit tells them the answer via the spirit box.
First up is Luke, a real pukka bloke who I can instantly tell means business and wants what I want... to find a ghost. He jumps in and as he is sat in the corner I make sure there's no cheating and call out "Luke, you have sweaty bollocks mate" the crowd laugh and Luke sits in the corner and doesn't move... good, I know he can't hear me.
I begin with light questions which have zero response from spirits. "If there's a spirit here, say yes through the spirit box" I command. "Yes" repeats Luke. Great now we are interacting with a spirits of the castle. As I continue talking a cat ball lights up, a cat ball is quite literally a cat ball. It lights up when its moved. A great way to see if a spirit is near when It lights up without being touched by anyone living. This cat ball just so happens to be next to Charrise... Lukes wife.